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We sure did some horrible stuff and got scars for life from that. Nevermind, we decieded to do a summerbreak because some of us (Josh&Jacky) needed vacation and had to get away from this jackass-shit for a while.
You can watch the photos and the comments in here while they make vacation and we hope thats enough till they come back. We're starting with jackass in september again, by the way.
So have fun!
Jacky on drugs
posted by: Klaas
This picture was taken after a hughe chuckle we had about some health-guys who criticized our magazine. Markus, Simon, Jacky and me were checking for some new pursuits when we read their comment about our magazine. Sure, our vocation is pretty rough but its fun most times. So we tryed to do some photos to exacerbate the health-guys a little and, of course, make you laugh. Jacky didn't hesitated long and so she became the new Drug-Face! Congrats and keep going...
(photo by: Simon Kretschmann)
Jacky on drugs2
posted by: Klaas
This was on the same day only 10 minutes later. We had so much fun about this so we took a whole bunch of pictures. The dictums we had at this time were as simple as funny. We certainly got a hundred ideas for some funny sentences but we all agreed to this two really short but really funny dictums next to Jackys head.
(photo by: Simon Kretschmann)
The bulls
posted by: Vince
We did a lot of things with bulls and it never gets boring. This animals are so gnarly! For an intro we drove at the back of beyond to find the perfect contestend for our clip. And in the middle of nowhere we found him: Lenny. Lenny was the incarnation of EVIL. He was big, black and not in a good mood. You don't want to be there, believe me!
After we found no one who could tell us who the owner of this big guy is we just decieded to made this video and get the hell out of there.
So we put Jacky a little princess-crown on the head and let her get in there. The bull act perfect. At first he didn't gave Jacky any attenton but when she came one feet too close he started sniffing and than BOOM he rans straight into her and pulled her down.
Gido, our deviation, started screaming and flounding so the bull came after him. But first Lenny pulled Jacky into a electric fence, than he let go of her and ran after Gido. But after a minute he stopped and looked around a little bit disoriented.
We drew Jacky over the fence and get her into the ambulance. She just had a messed up foot but she was fine though.
Actually she could laugh after that really good. Like usual. After a minute she started telling about it and how scared she was and that the electric fence in her back everything just pushed more and more. It was just hilarious!
Great job Jacky! We had a lot of fun.
(photo by: Robert K.)
Little shopping-cart-accident
posted by: Jacky
Hi everyone!
So this was a nice idea, wasn't it?! We were waiting for the last car with our equipment at a little place called "U-Boots-Bunker". We were suppose to film an intro at the Weser, a big river in germany. So we were waiting there and get pretty bored because everything tooks so long. Basti got his dog with so we decieded to make a little walk in the woods. The weather sucked but that wasn't so bad. It was just freakin' cold and that is something I can't stand! So when we took a walk I got in a better mood because I wasn't so cold anymore.
But guess what we just found after 15 minutes. Right, a shopping-cart! I have absolutely no idea how this thing made his way out here but in our town its nothing unusual. Of course we had to do something with it. So Basti said I should sit down in there and he pushs me into the woods. I agreed and so everything happened.
He pushed me into an old crappy, weedy peace of the woods. I landed so hard and a second later I felt the pain on my arms and legs. I landed in something sharp. I stood up and searched in the planties for the reason of my scratches. And guess what I found: barbwire. Nice...ha ha ha!
I also got a big scratch in my face. I laughed there but at home I wasn't that happy at all. I had a sleep-over at a friends house that night and when I came by she was like: "Oh my god! What happened to you face??" She was really mad at me and I have to say, she scared me!
Of course my mom was pissed of too. She layed all on my "messed-up-friends" and was very disapointed of me. Quiete a day...
(photo by: Basti H.)
Scratch on my ugly face
posted by: Josh
Heyy buttholes!
Yeah yeah, this is horrible...I'm so happy I didn't pushed here into that barbwire! This was just after we arrived at Basti's house. She took a look in the mirrow and was like: "This is just great. A big scratch on my ugly suckface...". She was kinda grumpy but after she said that we all started laughing and she laughed with us.
You gotta know for that, she hates it when she got wounded in her face. You can mess up all her parts of body but for gods sakes not her face!!
Well, I felt sorry for her than but now I still think its hilarious! Sorry Jacky, I just said the truth...
Josh
Nice tattoo...
posted by: Jacky
Hey people!
Boy oh boy, we had pretty sick games when I was younger. This was one we called: "fake tattoo's". I did it when i was 12 i guess. Its simple as shit and gives you scars for life. You make a bet with friends and if you lose you have to make youselfs a fake tattoo.
First you have to paint the picture up you wanna scarify. Than you.........oh wait a minute, everyone behind me is yelling Iam not allowed to put this in here and I shouldn't do that. Uhm...ok kids I guess they're right. Its a sick game and the worst is that you'll get addicted to it! So don't do this at home. I did it and I'm not proud of it.
Love, Jacky
PS: We just stopped writing down such crap because more kids tryed to do this at home even though we put the warning on the beginning and at the end. But we can't do more than that! If the kids just ignore the warning than its not in our hands anymore.
The tigers eyes...
posted by: Basti
Hello @ all!
In case you don't see what this picture is about, its cat eyes right there. Actually its a big cat from a friend who was skulking us for maby 30 minutes. Jacky and me were laying on the couch of this cat. Yes, thats right, this kitty has her own couch. In fact she has her own room! And Jacky and I were in there because we came at Malex' house (he is a good friend of me and Jacky) when we were a lil high and drunk. He offered us this room with the only condition that his cat can stay in there with us. The reason: his girlsfriend was there and, you know, he wanna be alone with her to...ok I'll better stop there!
Anyway, we were in this room and talking for a while when Jacky said: "Oh my god, I see the cat!".
You gotta know first that this cat (she's called Diva) is not like normaly cats. She is one of the meanest cats we've ever seen!
From that point it was like in the cave with a lion or a tiger. We were laying there, watching the flashing cateyes and couldn't do anything else than giggling scared. Divas eyes were at first just on the cabinet but when we heared her jumping on the floor, we knew this night will be rough. And is sure was!
Diva stalked to us slowly and after an houre scared and nervous giggling she finally jumped on the window seat and started to watch us for at least 2 hours.
Boy, she is pretty patient. But after 2 hours she jumped on to Jackys stomach and slept there by morning. We couldn't move the whole night because if we did the cat hissed and if we would move again she would probably attack us. It was horrible for us but also funny because the only thing this cat could actually gives us are scratches.
So we got two big scratches next morning when we wanted to stand up. Diva didn't wanted us stand up so she attacked us. But thats not so bad I guess...Jacky laughed about it so I laughed with her.
But thats actually nothing unusual for her because everytime she gets to Malex' house she gets attacked by his cat. So she got used to it. But it was the first time for me so I have to get used to it first.
Basti
PS: Nice going Josh! I guess Jacky will kick your ass next time when she sees ya...HAHA!
Not happy at all
posted by: Jacky
Hello again!
I agree with Basti, I will kick Joshs ass! No, no, I'm just kidding. He said the truth and I knew it anyway. Everyone think its funny so I don't care anymore.
This was the picture after I looked in the morrow. You can see pretty good on my facial expression that I'm not happy at all. Yes, I hate it if something happens to my face. I can't tell ya why, I really don't know.
But of course I wasn't mad or something, I just was a lil...desponded. Because you could see the scratches constantly so everyone I'll meet say something like: "Oh my god! What happened to you face??". And I was right about that.
But the best part of this is that after I told people this story, everyone was mad at Basti! In fact he was the one who pushed me into this barbwire and I was the helpless lil girl. Ha ha...
Lots of people wrote me mails and asked if I kicked Bastis ass after that. And here's the answer: OF COURSE!
He is an asshole so he deserved it. Besides I kick his ass almost everytime I see him so thats nothing new.
Love, Jacky
PS: Thanks for all your support! I really epressiate that.
Wrong To-Do-List
posted by: Klaas
This happened a long time ago but its still funny in a way. We always get To-Do-Lists at the office where everything is marked down for everybody so everyone know what he/she has to do.
But at this day the wrong To-Do-List got into our hands so the trouble began.
Olli read it out loud and we had a hughe chuckle. After that we started to do everything on the list. Things like "call Kathrin" or "Feed cats" wasn't so hard to fix after we found out who's the owner of this list. Actually it was Ronald and we started to do everything we could to execute this list.
Long story short, we did everything on this list and had a whole lot of fun with it. Our job was done so we went home after that.
Our bosses, well, lets say they called everyone on their cellphones a hundred times and at the next day we all got a little speach from the director of this magazine and our show.
Klaas
Mean dog-the dogbite
posted by: Olli
We did a lot of stuff with dogs and its scary everytime. For me its the most scary thing after the bulls.
But no dog is even close to that evil of this dog! He is a dog of a friend of Markus and boy, I gotta tell ya, he is really agressive! He lives on their court to watch the property so he has to be a mean dog. When we came there we heared him barking from the stable. The man who owned that farm was the most funny but also the most creepy guy I've ever saw. His clothes were dirty and he has just a few teeth in his mouth. When he picked us up he was like: "Oh, are you the dudebags who wanna get bit by my lil Romeo? Come in, I have some scotch for ya! If you wanna get bit by him you have to be drunk, that helps."
Jacky was suppose to get bit by Romeo. But when she saw that guy she was a little iffy. Inside we drank with him for an houre I guess. After that Jacky was drunk enough to try this.
We did the whole thing inside of the stable. Jacky was nervous when she saw the dog. He was a pretty big boy!
The farmer said to her: "I saw a lot of strange things but this is the best one! Lil girl wanna get bit by a dog."
Well, the dog had no problem to bite her so the whole thing was over in 30 seconds. The cows who watched us by doing it were a little wondered but they didn't seemed to care so much about this.
Jackys arm was alright and she laughed about it when we vet her.
But after that she got in trouble with Karina, Malex' girlfriend. She yelled at her and forbade her to do this again.
Of course Jacky would do this again but she decieded from that day to let this dog-bite-thing go because she noticed her distracted relation to dogs. So this was the last time she did this.
Weed-joss sticks
posted by: Markus
Yes, thats right, some of us like to smoke some pot and its sure not a good thing but this right here is the most f**ked up thing I've ever seen! Jacky bought this with a friend at "Fine&Fancy", a shop in a big mall in germany. She sent me some pictures as a proove because I didn't believe her but its true.
Meanwhile I saw it by myself and even smell it by myself! But it don't smell like weed. So the disappointment was big but we still have a good laugh when we light up some of these weed-joss sticks.
Its the best way to start with it without damaging your insides. So kids, this is the only time you CAN do it at home!
Markus
Jackys head
posted by: Josh
We all agreed to put this in here when we saw this picture. Its excactly how you should imagine Jackys head! A little smaller brain but but apart from that it looks like her brain.
Jacky made this picture at the office when she was bored and I found it today on her computer and laughed so much about it that I had to show it the rest of the guys. They were laughing as same as I did so we decieded to put this in here.
The thing is we didn't ask her to do this so she probably don't know right now about this......
Please forgive us but its just too funny!
Josh
Funny wake-ups - Good morning beautiful!
posted by: Klaas
That was the first sentence who made us really crack up in the middle of the night: "Good morning beautiful!". It cam of course from her, Jacky, and the face of the person who was daunted was just great! It was one of the first things we imitated from Jackass without knowing about it. And it was god damn fun!
We're still doing this when we got the chance to scare someone who's sleepin but we're doing much gnalier stuff now. These wake-ups are just behind the scenes when the cameras off mostly.
Cats rule!
posted by: Simon
Now look at this! Isn't that beautiful? Some people really make their cats happy. I wish some of this attitude would be on our "monkeys" here too. But we had a lot of fun when we saw that. We just wanted to get a picture when this cat is on the stairs but poorly this little bastard didn't showed up so you guys have to deal with this picture. But i still think its just great how they treat their cat. My cats are happy when they get their food on time...this cat would probably kill me when i'd forgot to feed it!
Simon
Some weed in the afternoon...
posted by: Jacky
Oh yeeeeeessssss...!!! Man i'm so sorry but at some point i gotta admit this: I SMOKE WEED! But not every day of course. Just when i have time for it than i build myself with a friend a nice joint and have some fun. And at that day we HAD lots of fun! But not because of the weed, just because we suck with roll one's own cigarettes! We sat there like 2 hours and roll 3 or 4 joints. We had a couple of laughing fits and at the end they looked like that...pethatic. Shame on me!!!!
But after all we were proud of us. Please excuse my bad look there but i was sick for three days and i was just happy when my "barbie-girl" arrived and kept company with me. She never was a pain in the ass cos i always took that part and she just thought it was funny to watch me. And thats what i like on her, she always think its funny when i'm about to break my neck just to make her laugh! And actually she's totally not that type of friend i'm used to. She's like a supermodel and i'm her psychopath-friend. What a couple!
There she is! Hope you're not mad at me Angy but i had to show those bastards that i didn't smoke those joints all by myself! HaHaHa, just kiddin...
No seriously, we really smoked those joints and we tryed to drank some alcohol but she just got a new piercing there so she couldn't drank anything like that. She tryed but it burned like hell.
So far so good, i hope you guys are not mad that i'm not that available right now but in febraury i'm all yours again! Hope my little reports are enough for now.
Love, Jacky
Jacky the Joker...scary stuff
posted by: Josh
Oh my god look at her! She really fits in the role of the "bad Joker" pretty good. She found this Jokercard in her brothers old room and we talked about that stuff again. She told us that she would give a good Joker and she would love to put that kinda make-up on like he does. So we just painted her like that, fished an old camera and did a few pictures. And this is what came out: Jokers little sister!
We talked about some stuff after the photosession when she still got her make-up on and it was so weird to see her talk with that Jokerface...spooky! She sure noticed that and when i kept looking at her with a bit fear in my face she just shrugged her eyebrwos and said: "Why so serious?"
Man she is a freak!!! But we had a lot of fun that day. I got another picture from that day, look at that
Ohhhh look at her how happy she is, isn't that sweet?! We put on some Joker-clips to get her in the mood and on this picture he was beating up by Batman and laughed his crazy psychopath laugh. She just smiled and smiled and kept smiling and when the clip was over she was like: "Again, again!!!"
Oh sweet girl, watch youself, please! We just had to cuddle her after some smalltalk with her make-up on. I think she don't look that bad as the real Joker looked like. But if someone provoke her she would teach him some manners...in Joker-Style!
Please look out little girl, the girls are really worried...as usual but this time they wanna give you a brainwash at their playgirl-house! Don't think you wanna stand that again, last time you slept for like 10 hours straight. They're not joking so you better watch youself!
Love, Josh
Ben kicks ass!!!
posted by: Klaas
He really did it this time. He broke the record on the hardest song at GH3!! Thats right, he played "Through the fire and flames" with 85%, thats amazing! We lost our mind there. He just beats the crap out of that game, its so great!
We tryed that 12 times before he made it but when he played the last part we were already jumping around him and cherring. His head was screwed after that. I couldn't made it through the first lines without getting kicked out of the show...pethatic, I really ashamed myself.
But Ben did it this time. Its a big thing here at the office and some special people are practicing right now to beat him. Guess who that is?! Heh heh
Next GH-Party is coming soon so some people will definitely try to beat Ben but i don't think they will make it trough that song. Its just to hard. But i'm very excited about that. Its gonna be a whole lot of fun!
Our very private drug-company
posted by: Markus
Did you know that Walt Disney produces more racist, rough drug cartoons than anyone else ever did?! Ok, i think thats no secret so i let ya know something else: We got some stuff from him and made our own drug-company.
We found maaany pictures where this typical Disney-attitude was represent and someone had the great idea to profiteer from that. I thought it would be a great idea. Falk wasn't that enthusiastic about that.....but we did it anyway.
So make yourself ready to see much more from this stuff and we hope you can crack up about that! Maybe we're giving some of you the wrong message with that but let me assure you: we are NOT racists!! Please don't think that way about us, we just think its pretty rough to put such crap into kids movies. Kids don't understand this messages (we should know, we watched these movies too when we were kids) but when you grow up than you see how bad this characters actually are and this is not easy to handle first...
But after all its pretty funny because you always discover new hints and this is so much fun to sit with your friends in front of the tv and try to find some new bad stuff. We did it and its the best thing to do if you're in a bad mood.
Markus
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